Masturbation. The topic that was taboo when we were younger, that we avoid talking about as adults and maybe even try to deny, and that still makes some blush at the mere mention. What’s a girl to do?
Well, there’s news for you, ladies. Not only is it healthy to masturbate, but it can spice up your sex life. That’s right. Masturbating is a good thing, not only for yourself but for the time you spend with your lover. So pick your jaw up off the floor and let’s take a look at how masturbation makes for better sex.
As obvious as it sounds, exploring your body is the best way to become familiar with it. How do you really know what’s down there until you check it out? Moreover, how do you know what kinds of touch, pressure, and texture make your body produce what responses unless you experiment a bit?
By getting to know your body, you become familiar with your own shapes and contours, which you can then introduce to your partner. Instead of sex feeling like a big mystery of movement and sensations, you can have a clear picture of where your partner is during your love-making, which will allow you to relax and just focus on enjoying yourself.
Unfortunately, none of us come with an operating manual, so we have to figure things out for ourselves, and everyone is different. Depending on how many lovers you’ve had or how many your partner has had, it’s always a new learning experience to know what a person prefers in the bedroom. Even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, preferences can change, or your sex life can become dull if you don’t mix things up once in a while.
For some, this can be an exciting adventure of trial and exploration, but for others, new sexual experiences can be scary and overwhelming, even making you feel vulnerable and self-conscious. So by leaving the exploring on your own terms, you can figure out what you like or don’t like without worrying about anyone else in the room.
Plus, it’s easier to try it alone first. Perhaps you’ve always done things in one way but want to try something new that you’re not sure your partner will like. Maybe you discover that you like things a bit faster and rougher, or you realize that you prefer a slower, more sensual experience. You don’t really know for sure what you like until you try it, and by experimenting on yourself first, you have the privacy and complete security to indulge your fantasies.
It may come as a surprise to you that men aren’t the only ones who sometimes have trouble with premature orgasms. This can be a problem for women, too, although it doesn’t seem to get talked about as much.
Some women just become so aroused that they can’t control themselves, and they climax early on. For those who can have multiple orgasms, this likely won’t be a problem, but for many others, it could be the grand finale that puts you out of the mood. If this sounds like you, masturbation can help.
Think of masturbation as practice. By regularly practicing any other skill, you not only improve the skill, but you build stamina. In much the same way, you can use the art of pleasuring yourself to build your own stamina and practice holding back until you want the big release on your own terms.
Speaking of practice, just like weight lifting builds muscles, masturbation strengthens your pelvic floor muscles. Most women are familiar with these muscles because they’re the ones that keep us from being incontinent. You’ve heard of Kegel exercises, but did you know masturbation also does the trick?
An added benefit to strengthening your pelvic floor muscles is that it can actually tighten you up, especially if you’ve had children, which can increase pressure and sensation during sex. A stronger pelvic floor also creates stronger, more intense orgasms and can even possibly enable you to have multiple orgasms.
In addition, if you are one of the many ladies who can’t easily have an orgasm, masturbation can help you, too. By stimulating yourself, you take the anxiety and stress out of the equation, allowing you to be more relaxed. Tension and nervousness keep a climax at bay, but in your own private session, you can just focus on the pleasure you give yourself, which will allow you to take yourself across the finish line more easily.
Another benefit of masturbation is that it actually makes you “in the mood”. As with anything, if you don’t use it, it becomes dormant. The same goes for your lady parts, and by extension, your libido.
You may have gotten yourself into a cycle where you don’t feel like having sex so it’s easier to just say goodnight and call it a day. However, this cycle perpetuates itself, making it more difficult to get in the mood next time. The best way to reverse the cycle is to start engaging with yourself again.
By pleasuring yourself, you remind your body, and your mind, what sensuality feels like. Upon climax, your brain releases the feel-good chemical Dopamine, which reinforces the act. Do this regularly, and you may begin to see yourself feeling in the mood a lot more often. Masturbation really can save your sex life.
Last, but not least, masturbation makes you more confident in bed. When you’re comfortable with yourself and with your body, then you can be comfortable next to your partner. Knowing what you like and how you like it, and being able to communicate it, makes you a confident and skilled lover. It also removes any self-conscious feelings because when you’re comfortable in your own skin, you’re able to be more relaxed and focused on the experience.
In addition, by having tried things out on yourself, you’re more likely to want to try new things with your partner. You won’t feel so shy and prudish because you’re already familiar and comfortable with the feelings and sensations of your own body. It enables you to become more open to new pleasures, which keeps things tantalizing and interesting.
So there you have it, several reasons that you should masturbate – as if we even needed one! If you’re already a regular indulger, then all the more reason to keep doing it or even do it more. If you’re not doing it at all, then there’s no time like the present to get started. So no more shying away from the topic. Embrace your womanhood – in all senses of the word – and become a proud self-pleasurer. Masturbation may just become your secret weapon to better sex.
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